JAMES HAND/ THOUGHTS AT 4:23 AM ON 2/27/2013

there are details about my bedroom that can be analyzed and turned into broad character assumptions

when i went on ‘wheel of fortune’ every word ended up being ‘death’ and i never guessed it

if i wear enough black clothing i can dissociate from my body and watch myself from above

the stripes on my blanket make me think of a race track where the road only goes straight and when you reach a certain point the track curves off and you fall off the face of the earth

i have been practicing holding my breath; i can hold my breath for almost three minutes now, watch me

i will write poems in the margins of the book i lend you and you will read the notes and send me a picture message of a poem glued to your forehead

i once found a lizard on a rock island in the middle of a lake and i left the lizard because i was scared the lizard would bite me; can lizards swim?

when i held you tightly during a thunderstorm you told me my arms were too cold

you told me to count how many times i think of you in a day and i told you i couldn’t  because i only have ten fingers and ten toes

when i think about ‘church’ i feel an indescribable sickness, like i am led on a leash by an old man and have to run a marathon, but my mouth, nose and eyes are forced closed

whenever i hear an ‘interesting’ fact, i file the fact in my memory; one day i will compile enough ‘interesting’ facts to become an ‘interesting’ person who will attract other people

when i meet someone new i introduce myself with, ‘hi, i’m james. i can eat eight hotdogs.’

i keep a tally by my dresser of how many times people accuse me of being autistic and question whether i feel ‘emotion’

i want to ask every person on earth to explain what the word ‘emotion’ means to them in a 100,000 word essay

my thought process is usually inactive unless i am on a drug and if i am on a drug i only want to escape my thoughts because they are too lucid

i have not remembered a dream in four years

is there a pill i can take to revert to a past version of myself?

 

You can find James’s work over at  http://7monkeysinawheelbarrow.blogspot.com/

 

 

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